22 Words of Advice for My Daughter (Volume 2)

22 Words of Advice for Daughters - Part 2

1.    You wouldn't care so much what people thought of you if you knew how little they really did."  
Dr. Phil McGraw
    • When you can't sleep at night because all you can think about is what other people thought about something you said or maybe something that you did, just remember that other people don't think about you  as much as you think about you.

2.    It’s almost never about you.  
    • People have their own demons. Remember this when people are jerks.

3.  There is often a little truth behind the words, "Just Kidding"....
    • ...and a little knowledge behind, "I don't know"...
    • ...a little emotion behind, "I don't care"....
    • ...and a little pain behind every, "It's OK."

4.  If you want a different result, try making different choices.
    • A lot of things in life (but not everything) are reflections of choices you have made. 
    • You'll never leave where you are until you decide where you would rather be and how you are going to get there.

5.   When someone is going through a storm, your silent presence is more powerful than a million empty words (from Thema Davis).
    • When my mom discovered that she had cancer and she had to have surgery to get a tumor in her neck removed, I was at a loss for words and I felt like my presence was worthless because I had no idea what I could say to her that could possibly make her feel better and I was devastated by the news.  That was years ago (and she is healthy now!).  The crazy part:  she talks about how much it meant to her when I stayed with her overnight in the hospital (during my law school final exams) and she talks about it a lot to this day.  

6.   You are always responsible for how you act - no matter how you feel, so don't be an ass.
    • You have the right to be angry sometimes, but that doesn't give you the right to be cruel.  Just because you are free to be angry does not mean that you are not free from the consequences of your choice.  
    • Sometimes silence is the best response when you are angry. 
    • Just as saying, "I don't know," when you don't know, is also a good answer.

7.   Don't wish away your days waiting for better ones.  
    • I've learned that it's not what happens to people - it's about what they do about it. 
    • Similarly, "you can't enjoy your 'now' by worrying about tomorrow' (words spoken by Janice Joplin). 

8.   Here is a quote from Asha Dornfest, author of the blog on the blog ParentHacks.com, from her post: Why disruptive is a good thing)
    • “We can sometimes be our own worst roadblocks in life….frankly, I've had to get pushed….I do find that times that I've really been pushed to places that I initially didn't want to go – those are the places where something inside me was enlarged – something about my capabilities changed, and I became more confident.  So I think that our regular detours to places to which we don’t usually go – whether that’s a physical challenge or a mental challenge or even learning new skills or going into a social situation that you’re initially hesitant to do – you've got to do those things.” - Asha Dornfest

9.   Be the type of person that your dog thinks you are...
    • My dog thinks that I'm a rockstar (if only she knew...), but she keeps me held to a certain standard.  
    • Be the type of person you want to meet.  Sometimes life is about finding people who are "your type of crazy." 
    • Remember that your character is how you treat those people who can do nothing for you. Smile at strangers.  Refrain from judging too quickly.

10.   No matter how loud the opinions of other people are about you, they do not get to choose who you can be. (Inspired by Dobinsky).  
    • Don't let yourself become confused between what people say that you are and what you know that you are (this was a challenge for me when I was a teenager).
    • It's never too late to be who you might have been.

11.   Exercise in the morning before your brain figures out what it is doing!
    • I don't do this, but I should.
    • If you succeed in doing this, please tell me how.

12.  Get a planner.  
    • The biggest lie that I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down because I'll remember it."  Just write it down (telling this to myself and I write this post).

13.   Whatever it is that you dislike in another person, you should take care to correct in yourself. (by Thomas Sprat)
    • Just assume that everyone is doing the best that they can.
    • Take into consideration how hard it is to change yourself, and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.

14.   You teach people how to treat you - by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.  
    • Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love (by Brenie Brown).  If you think you're being mistreated, ask yourself what you would tell someone that you love if they were in your position.
    • It's hard to determine where to draw the lines between being nice and standing up for yourself and what you believe.  

15.   You won't get anywhere if you have a bad attitude. "Bad attitudes are like flat tires on cars - you can't anywhere until you change it." (by Anonymous)
    • A negative mind will never give you a positive life.

16.   You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. (by Wayne Gretsky).  
    • Go for it.
    • The moment you're ready to quit is usually the moment right before a miracle happens.  Don't give up.
    • You can keep going long after you think that you can't.

17.   Advice about relating to the people around you...
    • We are all making it up as we go along.  
    • It only takes a half a second to write “please” or “thank you” at the beginning or end of a sentence - it adds up to months of mutual respect.
    • Clearing up an issue” with someone in the presence of a larger group is potentially very damaging. If you have an issue with someone, go one-on-one.
    • You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.  (by Dale Carnegie)

18.   You can learn a lot from your mistakes when you aren't too busy denying that you made them.
    • Don't be a "right fighter."  When you're wrong, admit it.  Apologize.  Read about The Art of An Apology on Oprah.com.  
    • Respect is earned. Honesty is appreciated.  Trust is gained.  Loyalty is returned.

19.   If you keep waiting until you are ready, then you might be waiting for the rest of your life. 
    • Because this post is for my daughter (life lessons I want to pass along to her), then I feel compelled to say that this does not apply to sex or to anything sex-related.  For these these - take your time. 
    • Take chances.  Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.  Forget what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you.

20.  When it comes to love, remember all of these things:
    • Sometimes two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completely different.
    • Anything that you have to manipulate to get is rarely yours to keep.
    • Marry someone who laughs at the same things as you do.
    • Remember that many marriages would be great if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side (by Zig Zaglar).
    • Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, and don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. (by Baz Luhrmann)....Thank you, SunScreen Song.
    • If you start a relationship being the "other woman," you will likely never be the "only woman."  What goes around might come around, so be careful.

21.   Remember the Golden Rule 
    • Doing the right thing is not always easy.  Do not sleep with a married man (or a committed man).  That's just plain mean.
    • Remember the Golden Rule that you will hear 1 million times throughout your life:  "Do unto others as you would want others to do unto you."
    • I don't know who actually uses the word, "unto," anymore (or ever did?), but you get the point

22.   For you dad's out there:
    • The greatest thing a father can do for his daughter is to love his mother.


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