You know you have a newborn if....
You've suddenly developed a "toilet flushing" phobia. What this means is that you used to flush your toilet freely - whenever the process was warranted and without a care in the world. Now, suddenly, you fear that even the subtle flush of your toilet may wake your sleeping little nugget ..and you'll be damned if you lose any more sleep.
You take the risk- the risk that you may forget to flush the toilet later on, and that someone else just may see your un-flushed toilet. Is it worth the risk? Yes, yes it is....
You've already damned your dogs for waking up your sleeping newborn last week with their barking, and you'll be damned yourself if you become the one responsible for waking your sleeping baby, because waking up your sleeping child is, effectively, the same as eliminating your very brief opportunity to nap, shower, or change your underwear.
Did this happen to me? Yes. Many things changed once a newborn baby came into my life. Did I knowingly walk into a WalMart store, wearing my bath robe? Yes. (See You Know You Have a Newborn When - Your Robe). I also developed a complicated relationship with my electric breast pump, and I swear the damn thing started talking to me (See My Breast Pump Talks To Me!).
What weird things did your sleep-deprived self do when you had a newborn?
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4 Comments
Maybe this explains why two of my three children ended up with toilet-flushing phobias. After being potty trained, they ended up being afraid of the toilet flushing and would flush and RUN for their lives!
ReplyDeleteHaha! Would one of them end up stubbing their toe somehow as he ran for his life? I think I might know him!
ReplyDeleteSo glad I'm not the only one that was like this!! I got so much flack for pussy-footing around when my baby was asleep! I think I knew I had to make some changes though when I drove all the way to a McDonalds (closest is 20 minutes away) because my husband and I finally got our daughter to sleep and I was starving, but too scared to go into the kitchen for even a snack!
ReplyDeleteLhawks, your McDonald's story is seriously hilarious! I feel like we'd be friends in real-life because (a) I was afraid to use our microwave when my child was sleeping because of the "beeping" noises potentially waking her up, and (b) when I am hungry, I will do almost anything to food. We had a McDonald's just a few blocks away, but had we not, I would have done the same thing as you! You are not alone! :)
DeleteI knew I had to make some changes when I started to live in a constant fear that I had forgotten to (eventually) flush the toilet. Every time a guest would go to use our bathroom, I'd run ahead of them to double-check. This was not the way that I wanted to live!
We bought a white-noise machine for our baby's bedroom, and this solved the problem (the problem being my fear of flushing the toilet).
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